突然始まった不登校について

  • 2023年6月28日
  • 2023年6月28日
  • Blog
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2023年5月、「不登校は突然に」

 

2023年5月、小学6年生の長男が突然不登校になりました。

それまで学校を休んだことは、ほとんどありませんでした。

では何故不登校になったのか?

これには様々な要因が複雑に絡み合い、子供の中でたまったストレスが爆発し、心と体のスイッチが切れてしまったんだと思います。

 

わざわざこのブログを書こうと思ったきっかけは、自身が不登校問題の当事者になって初めて分かったことは

「不登校問題は、親のメンタルがまじエグられる」

ってことです。特に、

「母親のメンタルのエグられ方は想像を絶するレベル」

です。

私も限りある時間の中で最大限この子供の不登校問題と妻のメンタルケアに奔走しております。

仕事も外資系メーカーのマネージャーのためプチ激務です。

それに加え、夜間学校に通っているため、あまり休みがないです。

 

しかしながら、仕事や勉強の激務やストレスよりも、

「不登校児を抱えるストレスは10倍上えぐい」

ってことが、今回初めて身を持って体験して分かりました。

 

このハンパじゃないストレスを誰が抱えているのか?

といえばワンオペで母親一人で抱えている家庭が多い印象です。

 

しかしながら不思議なことに不登校支援を学べば学ぶほど

「親が心の穏やかさを保持しながら子供と接することが、不登校問題の第一歩」

だと分かります。

 

ただ現実問題、旦那が不登校に関して理解しなかったら、母親ワンオペ育児で、メンタル正常に保つの無理じゃね?

ってことに段々と気づいてきました。

 

うちも奥さんがメンタルぶっ壊れて倒れたら、自分も子供もジ・エンドです。

だから、自分がこうして不登校について学びながら、もがいていくところを曝け出していくことで

1人でも多くの父親が、「おっしゃ俺も頑張るか」と思ってくれて、

1人でも多くの母親が、「ワンオペ不登校育児」かた脱却して、

1人でも多くの不登校児が、自分らしい未来に向かって(癇癪を起こさず)前進してくれたらと思ってます。

 

ちょっとずつ空いた時間に、自分の経験したこと、失敗したこと、探したサービス、など記載して、

たくさんの情報交換をして

たくさんの人の心が少しでも穏やかになれたらと思います。

 

In May 2023, “truancy came out of nowhere”

In May 2023, my oldest son, a 6th grader, suddenly stopped going to school.
Until then, he had rarely missed school.

So why did he stop going to school?

I think it was a complex intertwining of various factors, and the stress that had built up inside the child exploded, causing his mind and body to switch off.

The reason why I decided to write this blog is because I have learned from my own experience of being a party to the truancy problem.

The problem of truancy can seriously affect a parent’s mental health.

I was so excited to write this blog because I have learned that the problem of truancy is really aggravating for parents. In particular,

The level of mental aggravation of mothers is unimaginable.

I have a limited amount of time to spend with this child.
I am also trying to take care of my wife’s mental health and my child’s truancy problem to the best of my ability in the limited time that I have.

My job as a manager of a foreign-affiliated manufacturer requires me to work very hard.
In addition, I attend night school, so I don’t have much time off.

However, the stress of having a child who is not attending school is more important to me than the hard work and stress of work and study,

The stress of having a child who is not attending school is 10 times worse than the stress of working and studying.
I realized this for the first time when I experienced it firsthand.

 

Who is responsible for this tremendous stress?
My impression is that many families are one-parent households, where the mother is the sole caretaker.

 

However, strangely enough, the more I learned about support for non-attendance, the more I realized that
“The first step in dealing with the problem of truancy is for parents to maintain a sense of calmness while interacting with their children.

However, the reality is that the husband is the one who is truanting.

However, the reality is that if the husband does not understand the problem of truancy, it is impossible for the mother to maintain a normal mental state while raising the child as a one-parent operation.

I am gradually realizing this.

If the wife of my family suffers a mental breakdown and collapses, it will be the end for both myself and my children.
So, by exposing my own struggles while learning about truancy in this way, I hope that as many fathers as possible will be able to help their children.

I hope that as many fathers as possible will think, “Okay, I’ll do my best, too,
And as many mothers as possible will be able to get rid of the “one-operator” way of raising a child who is not attending school,

I hope that as many truant children as possible will move forward (without throwing tantrums) toward a future that is their own.

In my spare time, I would like to write about my experiences, failures, and services I have searched for,
I hope we can exchange a lot of information.

I hope to share a lot of information and help many people find peace of mind.

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